After weeks of running around like a cat around a mouse, you finally gathered enough courage to ask someone you like on a date, and he/she said yes. Or the other way around, someone you like asked you. Anyway, the D-Day has arrived and you feel quite nervous.The first date is stressful and nerve-wrecking, due to the importance of the first impression you make on someone. It takes a lot of willpower to show the right measure of interest. You don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard, but also have to show your date you’re having a great time.There were many people who asked the same question before: How to have a pleasant first date without ruining it? Thankfully, science arrives to help. There are some tips that might save your first date and secure chances for the second one.
1. Location
Choosing the right location for a first date is really important because it sets the mood for the rest of the date. Some fun activity is always a good choice, but only if you know what your date loves to do. But if you don’t know what kind of activity your date likes, than choose a location that is neutral and low-key.
Instead of a fancy place, try taking your date to a local bar or a coffee shop. The casual atmosphere will help break the ice and inspire you to engage in meaningful conversations. Also, there is no pressure, if it still feels awkward, two of you can go your own ways after the first drink. But if you click right away, you can continue a date for as much as you like.
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The first date should be spent getting to know each other and testing your connection. Going to a nice restaurant and discovering right from the bat that you are regretfully incompatible can be really uncomfortable. There’s nothing so awkward like getting stuck for the rest of the meal with Mr/Ms. Wrong.
2. Mindset
One of the crucial things before your date starts is to make up your mind. There are things you can’t control, such as chemistry, harmony or affinity. What you can do is to mentally prepare yourself for when it happens. If you go on a date with the looming feeling of unworthiness and defeat, that mood will reflect itself on your behavior. Your mind will prevent you from accepting any sign of affection from your date.
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This is why self-compassion is really important. In order to accept someone’s feelings, you should be ready to forgive yourself for all your imperfections and past mistakes. Don’t let your bad dating experience taint your present and prevent you from enjoying quality time with your future girlfriend/boyfriend.
3. Self Presentation
For quality dates, it’s very important to realize how you present yourself and how others distinguish you. Everyone should understand what kind of vibe they are giving off. Many people get shocked because they didn’t realize they were sending a very different kind of vibe than they actually intended. If you start talking about all the beach wedding ideas you have, it might seem to your date that you are too pushy, even though you just wanted to start a conversation.
In order to clarify what kind of feeling you’re radiating, you should ask your friends to give you their honest impression about you.
4. Body Language
As Ursula the sea witch said, don’t forget the importance of body language. The way you present yourself depends on both verbal and non-verbal language. Your body language and facial expressions are the most indicative way of communication.
It is quite difficult to act natural while being self-aware about your body language. However, you can recognize negative body language signs and change them a bit. Telling that you like someone isn’t enough, you have show it with some non-verbal signs, so your body is expressing the same feeling.
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5. Conversation
And now for the hardest part of a date. Even if you passed all previous ordeals with flying colors, there is still a way to ruin your first date if your conversation goes wrong. But your goal is not only to avoid disaster, but to engage in meaningful conversation that will attract your date.
Instead of digging out facts, it’s a good idea to ask your date questions about something they are passionate about. People like to talk about it, but they are often too shy to initiate it.In order to move the communication towards something deeper, it’s ok to ask your date something little more personal or share something personal with them. Just don’t forget to ask for permission first.Concerning the topics to avoid, definitely don’t mention your previous dating history, politics or finances. Also, try not to dwell too deep into intimate details on the first date, or you’ll risk looking too desperate or rude. Of course, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be cheeky. A good measure of flirt and witty banter is a winning combination.
Conclusion
The first date is always stressful because of the importance of the first impression you leave on your crush. In order to have a successful date you need to know all the ways you can ruin it, and how to avoid them. If we could boil down the essence of a successful date, it’s being interesting to your partner and sparking the wish to know more about them. The best way to do that is to reciprocate and to be interested in your date too.One more thing, you don’t have to be perfectly compatible in order to become a perfect match. Different personalities can work out pretty fine together, as they provide different ways to deal with challenges. Who knows, maybe Mr/Ms. Right is someone you’ve never expected to be.
